Didi · what i think

Kaizen ala bubur

Ritual pagi bila ada teman atau saudara ke Bandung adalah ajak mereka ke Bubur Ayam Alkateri. Letak gerobak buburnya di Jl. Alkateri, persis di depan Warung Kopi Purnama. Kali ini kami tiba pukul 07:10, biasanya saya hanya bilang, “4 porsi ya pak, di dalam” lalu si Bapak mengiyakan. Pagi ini berbeda, dia menjawab, “Sebentar ya, ini yang di luar aja pada belum kebagian.” Akhirnya saya putuskan untuk menunggu di dekat gerobak sambil memperhatikan situasi. 

Ada lima orang di gerobak itu. Kurang lebih begini hasil pengamatannya:

– Bapak menuangkan bubur dari tong yang satu ke tong yang terletak di dalam gerobak. 

– Ujang #1 menyuir ayam. 

– Ujang #2 mengantar bubur ke dalam (ke dalam Warung Kopi Purnama). 

– Si Bapak mencari muka pemesan yang sudah duduk untuk mengkonfirmasi pesanan mereka lantas menuangkan cakwe dari tempat penyimpanan ke wadah yang ada di atas gerobak. Lalu membuat pesanan bubur. 

– Ujang #3 mengantar bubur ke pemesan yang duduk di luar. 

– Bapak si pemilik kembali mencari muka pemesan, melakukan konfirmasi pesanan, lalu membuatnya lagi. 

– Teteh #1 mencuci mangkok dan kembali ke gerobak menaruh piring yang sudah bersih. 

– Bapak mengulangi yang dia lakukan, mencari pelanggannya, konfirmasi pesanan dan membuatnya. 

– Ada pelanggan yang sudah selesai makan lalu membayar, si Bapak pula yang melakukan penghitungan dan mengeluarkan uang kembaliannya. Lalu kembali melanjutkan proses membuat buburnya. 

Terlihat beban kerja kelima orang tersebut sangat timpang. Mungkin itulah yang terjadi pada saat kita “nyemplung” di bisnis yang kita geluti, apalagi bila kita sudah melakukannya puluhan tahun. 

Sejujurnya saya salut sama si Bapak, dia bisa hapal urutan pelanggan yang datang. Tapi saya gak bisa tahu pasti sebenarnya urutannya betul atau tidak ya? Karena di sela-sela membuat bubur, ada orang baru datang lalu pesan lagi, ada orang membayar, ada yang customise pesanannya, memberi instruksi untuk antar bubur ke si ujang, dkk. 

Lalu teman saya datang menemani saya menunggu di dekat gerobak dan kita diskusi mengenai situasi yang kita lihat. Ada hal-hal sederhana yang bisa membuat pekerjaan menjadi lebih terbagi rata. Bahkan saya bercanda, “kita jadi konsultan si Bapak aja yuk, free of charge. Abis kasihan ngeliat dia kelabakan sendiri.”

Akhirnya kami mendapat giliran dan tak lama kami bisa menyantap bubur itu dengan lahap. Emang buburnya enak kok.

Sepulang makan bubur, saya mikir. Kita harus bisa jadi konsultan untuk diri kita sendiri. Caranya ya memang harus ambil waktu untuk menganalisa apa yang sudah terjadi di hidup kita. Cek apakah sudah sejalan dengan yang kita inginkan? Atau malah jalan di tempat? Atau melenceng ke jalan yang lain?

Lalu ambil keputusan untuk meningkatkan hasil yang sudah ada saat ini. 

Sekian filosofi Kaizen ala tukang buburnya. Kalau ke Bandung, coba luangkan waktu untuk makan Bubur Alkateri ya. Saran saya datang antara jam 7-8 pagi. Kalau sedang ramai sekali, jam 8 pun sudah habis. Makan di dalam saja (di Warung Kopi Purnama) supaya bisa minum teh susu / es teh susu yang juga tak kalah nikmat. 

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Didi · what i think

Why we have to make our bed every single day?

When I was a child, my mom gave me one responsibility, made my own bed everyday. She showed me how to do it. The next day, we made my bed together. She taught me how to stack my pillow and bolster, fold my blanket. Soon, I made my bed on my own. 

How can a 5 years old made her own bed? Just like that, as easy as set the example and give simple encouragement turns out it was successfully boost the confidence to make the bed. 

Why making bed matters to me?

  • I had an early encounter of having a responsibility. 
  • By doing it everyday, it lays the foundation of a good habit. 
  • I can replicate the process to established another good habit. 
  • A small accomplishment to start a good day so the rest of the would be filled by many other accomplishments. Remember, if you succeed to do the small things, you can achieve the big things, but not the other way around. 

One step at time. Every steps count. 

Didi · what i think

7 things to do to overcome depression

It’s been 6 weeks since my last post. I am so sorry that I can’t keep my promise to post at least once a week. So let me tell the story what kept me from posting a blog. 

It was all started from April 2016, the first trigger of my 16 months depression, the darkest period of my life so far. I just felt odd, but I cannot cleary describe what I feel even to myself. I thought it was ok, but it wasn’t. Feeling blue constantly for days, days became weeks, and soon to be months. 

So what I did to overcome my depression?

1. Find a professional help. I seek help from psychologist and hypnotherapist. I can assure myself that they won’t judge me. This thought alone made me more open to tell the problem. I bet many of you would ask, “why don’t you tell your family or closest friends?” I cannot handle my own thoughts that they will judge me. But it’s just my preferences, you can always start by telling your family or friends before seeking for a professional help. 

2. Work out. Move, jump out of your bed or couch, walk around your house, do grocery store, yoga, pilates, run, anything that makes my body sweat, even more better if you have sun exposure. 

3. Do self-care. Each day I struggle to made my mind occupied. I know it’s hard because we tend to move slowly, can hardly think clear, maybe your mind is just blank. So what i did was make a bullet list what are the activity for the day. I even wrote “take a morning shower”, “eat muesli for breakfast”, “cook for lunch and dinner”, etc. 

4. Pray and read the Bible. I guess this one is obvious enough. 

5. Speak out your thoughts. If you are like me who is introvert, we tend to think alone. In order to get better from depression, you have to speak out for a while. Even just to express “I want steak for dinner” really made a difference. Funny huh? So start speak out this instance. 

6. Do something new or something you long for a while but you cannot make time for it or something that you used to love but haven’t done it for ages. I took brush calligraphy class for the new activity. I did mindfullness colouring at home. I went to the concert. Sign up for a premium spotify and made a playlist that i used to love in so many years back. 

7. Choose a mantra(s) and repeat it whenever you’re feeling blue and read it out loud to yourself over and over again until you feel better. I keep on repeating this:

  • This too shall pass
  • I’m not alone
  • I’m going to be ok, everything is going to be alright. 

This is my sum up for the 16 months in the dark. Even in a good days, this tricks should work to discover a better version of yourself. 

Cheers, 

Didii

Riri · what i think

Happy?

A Good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are

I used to think that happiness was always tagged with a condition. I grew up in the environment where I have to do something to be rewarded and be happy, I had to pleased my parents or elderly to get pocket money, I had to study hard and aced my report card for every subject. There was always a contingent reward to things that I wanted.

As simple as, when I was 8 years old, I wanted a Swatch watch (hey, it was an IT thing back in the days), mom conditions was for me to finished all my piano level in 3 months, instead of 6 months (1 semester), I worked extra hard to finished and practiced all the lesson before going to school and practice again after school and again before going to bed. I remember my neighbor was complaining to my mom because I was not doing it correctly (I was rushing!). It turned out that our neighbor was a professional piano player, so my mom offered her to teach me. I remember I hated her so much because she was such a perfectionist. I remember that every day my finger was becoming more and more like a crow fingers, I can’t write properly, I can’t hold my spoon/fork, let alone using chopsticks, LOL. But after 3 months accelerating all the necessary compilation, I performed, passed with a flying color and went to the next level. I remember I was so proud to see the watch on my wrist and having that ‘trophy’ reminding me on how hard I worked and was rewarded accordingly.

I know my mom just wanted me to excel and be fast in everything, it gives me a sense of proudness when I can succeed every obstacle and be rewarded. These days, I don’t buy things anymore to reward my success. I chose to collect memories with people I care about. When I can dream of something, work hard to get it and be grateful for it, It’s enough. It satisfied me.

Today’s homily was about accepting, being generous and cultivating care with others (horizontal) without having to weight in their title, skin color, intelligent, family backgrounds, etc as you love your God (vertical). Time to time I need to be reminded that I have to accept and love others unconditionally. Be caring without being asked, just like Elisha. Today I was reminded that happy can be unconditional, free, and pure. Happy can happens without reason and terms & conditions. Accepting others as God accepting whoever that comes to his church. Be generous as a Father given His only Son because He knew that human need a savior. Love one another because love is the only way.

I don’t need a reason to be happy. I just need to allow it.

life · Riri · what i think

Self-awareness

Acceptance is a practice. It is hard and troublesome. It is something that I need to do for myself, my family, my partner, my friends, my job, my attitude toward life, etc. It takes a lot of understanding, probably time-consuming to follow the situations and moving on from there. It is not something you do once, say when you decide to accept. It is an ongoing process and commitment. Daily practice is needed when you set your intention and lean into it 100%. Once I have made a decision to accept something, someone, a certain situation, any chapters of your story, I consciously know I am responsible for being committed and consciously practicing every single time. It will be hard and there will be resistance, which is why I maybe haven’t been able to accept in some cases. This process of inability to accept will always keep me stuck and anxious or even panic, pushing me down into a low mood. Most of the time when I choose not to accept because I afraid to loose the control. Clearly, I know that the truth is by not accepting it what makes me loose control. So I try to practice acceptance, maybe someday I will learn that it really means letting go of trying to control.

As for the things that I can control are the following:

  1. My beliefs
  2. My attitude
  3. My thoughts
  4. My perspective
  5. How honest I am
  6. Who I choose to be friends with
  7. The books or blogs I choose to read, the music, youtube or podcast I choose to listen
  8. How often I exercises
  9. The type of food I eat
  10. How much risks I’ll be willing to take
  11. How I interpret situations
  12. How kind I am to others and how I decide to treat them
  13. How kind I am to myself
  14. How often I say “Thank you”, “I love you”, “Please, help me”, “How are you”, etc
  15. How I express my feelings, thoughts, care
  16. How often I practice gratitude and/or appreciating the things I have
  17. How many times I smiles today
  18. The amount of effort I put forth
  19. How I spend or invest my money
  20. How much time I spend worrying
  21. How often I think about my past
  22. Whether or not I judge other people
  23. Whether or not I bounce back after a setback

to be continued.. to jot down things that I can control. As it, for now, I am ok knowing that I can have 23 things that I can control.

Riri · what i think

My Procrastination

Key reasons why I procrastinate

My procrastination can take many forms;

  • Maybe it actually ways to delay and do a different urgent task
  • Maybe it was too full of a scheduled to work on task
  • Maybe I chose to delay and do unimportant tasks instead
  • When it’s just too overwhelming, if there’s too much to do I tend to freeze and end up doing nothing or something unrelated
  • When it’s too easy, boring or too hard. I have a hard time to stay engaged in the job when the task is too easy or not interesting enough. but, when its too difficult, I tend to put it off and chose to do all the research (time-consuming, also) because I don’t know what to do. Usually, after doing research, I begin to plan how to tackle my tasks.
  • When I too tired and need a break
  • When I have to step outside my comfort zone and I find it to be scary. I tend to slow myself down so I don’t have to face the thing I am afraid of doing. I found out that I sometimes fear success. What if it goes right? Am I ready for this?
  • Whether I really want to do it ??!.. No matter how much under pressures I am in the situations, If I am faced with a task that I don’t want to do it, I may put it off for days, weeks or months : )

I found productivity tips for procrastinators from Forbes by Frances Booth (forgot the date, as I copied it down to my Bujo awhile ago)

I have to:

  • Name and Notice that I am procrastinating and Acknowledge it and Do something about it.
  • Look at where my time goes
  • Make time for my best friend
  • Improve my estimates. Allow time for it to happen. Gives a good time frame and make sure you get it done.
  • Meet more deadlines. I work best if a deadline is looming. Setting deadlines for myself is very crucial for me to get the task done.
  • When I found myself underestimating the task (too easy), I will give myself mini rewards to stay engaged. When I overestimating, I will break the task into small pieces.
  • Intentionally make a schedule for 5 minutes breaks in between tasks. Take a breather (do vinyasa yoga or meditate by going walk around outside your indoor workplace).
  • Re-writing my to do list. I will delegate some tasks and add new tasks that I enjoy to balance the ones I enjoy less, when I am having trouble getting motivated.
  • Ask myself if I expecting a Miracle ? Stop being perfectionist and work with yourself to face of what I’m scared of that can halt with an unrealistic expectations. Take baby steps!
Riri · what i think

Growth mindset

Just be you

The three words that sometimes so hard to achieve.

Just become you

Maybe it wouldn’t be so daunting.

Every day I am becoming more “me”

Maybe because being “you” brings about certain expectations that limitless. Something that we don’t know how to fulfill. In turn, being someone else feels easier because there is shoes to fill, a pattern, something to stance on. Also living a lie. The fun part when I get past the fear, it’s great because you embrace it, create myself and become who you want to be.

I like to believe I have becoming “me” more. I look back at myself from three years ago and I can see how much I have changed. I care less and less about what others think and say, and more about what I think, say and do. I’m still not where I desire to be, but I’d like to say that I’m making progress every day.  The hardest but most exciting adventure. It’s a mystery but I love not knowing the ending of the journey that sounds so freeing – Not impossible!

My plan to catch and tell myself whenever I go to that place of destructive thoughts:

When I find myself saying:

  • I can’t do it!  —->  I will try saying —-> What CAN I do?
  • I don’t know how! —> I will change to —> I don’t know how yet.
  • It’s too hard ! —> be mindful and telling myself —> It will take time and effort to learn new skills and try to make the best of every opportunity you received.
  • I’m bad at this or I never be good enough — > I am LEARNING and I will get there!