Uncategorized

When I lost 72 hours of my life

By far this was the worse time I had experienced bed rest. Not like I was told to stay in bed, but quite literally I Couldn’t get up from bed 😦 My body was almost paralyzed, my eyes couldn’t stay open more than 30 min, Can’t breathe properly, Throat was too painful to even to drink water, Couldn’t hear properly, my mind was not straight (literally went to the darkest corner!).

Waking up on Monday morning after 3 days being absent as a productive human being, felt really good. I appreciate more of life and what I had experienced in life so far. Sometimes, well most of the time I took my health for granted. When I am in the zone, in my brain its all Go, Go, Go.. Though I have scheduled in my bujo that I need to rest, allow that time to just take care all what my need, even its just watching a re-run TV drama. I need to be more disciplined on taking care of myself.

Maybe this was my opportunity to press that big reset button. I maybe need that 3 days of rest to have the fresh start. The learning curve to put what happened yesterday behind me and move forward with real purpose. Though there are just as many times when I want to still rebuild on yesterday or days before it – where endurance, adrenaline, and strength comes from the desire to continue a good run and want to finish all at once.

The greatest learning experience I learned from this is To choose if today is a continuation or an opportunity to press that pause button.

“Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.” – Marcha Petrie Sue

Book · Riri

Buku

Saya sangat mengapresiasi orang yang suka baca. Baca buku, baca koran, baca journal research, baca random quotes, baca apa saja yang di lewati di jalan, baca apa saja. Yang saya mau bahas kali ini adalah Baca Buku. Sudah tidak heran bahwa orang sekarang tidak pegang buku lagi, melainkan smart-phone. Saya juga punya smart phone, semua nya yang saya perlukan ada di smart phone. Dari daily schedule, untuk komunikasi dengan teman dan keluarga, membalas email pekerjaan secara praktis, mendengarkan musik di kala di dalam kendaraan umum sendirian, taking photos, dll. Saya rasa saya pun tidak bisa hidup tanpa smart phone saya. Tapi hanya satu yang saya belum juga terbiasa dengan gaya hidup digital, yaitu membaca buku secara digital. Saya kurang merasa pas kalau membaca buku melalui layar telephone. Paling nyaman mengenggam buku nya langsung, membuka setiap halaman dengan jari, merasakan tesktur buku nya langsung, bau buku yang khas, design dan typography di buku tersebut, dll.

Jadi kali ini saya mau berbagi beberapa buku yang sedang saya baca saat ini.

  • The Power by Naomi Alderman

Saya tidak bisa merekomendasikan buku ini lebih banyak lagi. Pada saat saya pertama kali melihat buku ini di rekomendasikan dari book club newsletter yang saya terima di email, saya tidak menyangka saya akan menyukai buku ini. Konsep nya sangat simpel dan ringan sekali. Tentang beberapa remaja putri di setiap bagian dunia, tiba-tiba bangun dengan mempunyai tenaga elektrik yang bisa di keluarkan dari tangan mereka. Buku ini mengangkat tema tentang apa yang terjadi di dunia ini dan realitas yang sedang terjadi sekarang ini. Baca deh, saya rasa buku ini akan membuka pikiran pembaca nya, dan buku ini sangat mudah di cerna namun tidak membosankan.

  • Sapiens: A brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

Pengarang buku ini sangat pintar menulis buku yang non-fiksi menjadi dirasa sangat jauh dari buku-buku pengetahuan yang kita biasa lihat di perpustakaan. Menceritakan tentang sejarah hidup manusia dari sejak jaman purba. Pada saat saya membaca buku ini, saya merasa di giring untuk menanyakan setiap bagian hidup saya. Sejak saya baca buku ini, saya merasa lebih peka dan mendiskusikan tentang ini di setiap saat. Sering kali setelah baca buku ini, saya menjadi lebih kritis dan juga lebih sering memikirkan pengalaman hidup yang saya alami sekarang. Saya belum bisa menyelesaikan buku ini, di karenakan buku ini sering membuat saya sering berhenti dan sering mengirim pikiran saya untuk lebih mencerna dan mencermini hidup saya sekarang. Banyak sekali pertanyaan saya untuk penulis. Banyak yang saya setuju, banyak juga yang saya tidak sejalan dengan penulis buku ini. Nanti kalau saya sudah selesai, saya akan update lagi ya.

  • The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Buku tentang kehidupan klasik Amerika. Buku ini bukan buku yang romantis atau yang akan berakhir dengan happy endings. Buku ini menceritakan tentang sesuatu yang sangat gelap dan mungkin tidak nyaman untuk di baca. Jangan baca buku ini kalau tidak suka sesuatu yang gelap atau berat. Hal-hal yang dibahas mengenai peristiwa yang sedang terjadi sekarang sekarang ini dengan sangat masuk akal dan sangat bisa di rasakan oleh saya sebagai pembaca.

  • The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan

Buku yang sangat cantik dan membawa perasaan nyamandan hangat pada saat saya membaca nya. Saya menghabisakan satu hari saja untuk menghabiskan buku ini, sangat menghanyutkan dan penulis juga membawa pembaca dalam cerita yang menyedihkan juga menyentuh. Saya jarang suka buku-buku yang menyedihkan, tapi buku ini ok untuk di baca, asalkan tidak lagi mellow. Mungkin kalau pada hari itu saya lagi sedih, saya bisa galau seharian. Untung nya lagi ok 🙂 Saya rasa akan ada versi film nya, sebentar lagi pasti ada produser film yang tertarik untuk membawa ke layar bioskop.

  • The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair by Joel Dicker

Buku misteri yang di bawakan oleh karakter yang sangat kuat. Penulis menulis plot nya dengan sangat pintar. Juga buku ini belum saya selesaikan.

Jadi sekarang saya sedang menyelesaikan 2 buku di atas. Sedikit lagi selesai nih dua-dua nya. Ada rekomendasi buku apa lagi ya?

Riri · what i think

Happy?

A Good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are

I used to think that happiness was always tagged with a condition. I grew up in the environment where I have to do something to be rewarded and be happy, I had to pleased my parents or elderly to get pocket money, I had to study hard and aced my report card for every subject. There was always a contingent reward to things that I wanted.

As simple as, when I was 8 years old, I wanted a Swatch watch (hey, it was an IT thing back in the days), mom conditions was for me to finished all my piano level in 3 months, instead of 6 months (1 semester), I worked extra hard to finished and practiced all the lesson before going to school and practice again after school and again before going to bed. I remember my neighbor was complaining to my mom because I was not doing it correctly (I was rushing!). It turned out that our neighbor was a professional piano player, so my mom offered her to teach me. I remember I hated her so much because she was such a perfectionist. I remember that every day my finger was becoming more and more like a crow fingers, I can’t write properly, I can’t hold my spoon/fork, let alone using chopsticks, LOL. But after 3 months accelerating all the necessary compilation, I performed, passed with a flying color and went to the next level. I remember I was so proud to see the watch on my wrist and having that ‘trophy’ reminding me on how hard I worked and was rewarded accordingly.

I know my mom just wanted me to excel and be fast in everything, it gives me a sense of proudness when I can succeed every obstacle and be rewarded. These days, I don’t buy things anymore to reward my success. I chose to collect memories with people I care about. When I can dream of something, work hard to get it and be grateful for it, It’s enough. It satisfied me.

Today’s homily was about accepting, being generous and cultivating care with others (horizontal) without having to weight in their title, skin color, intelligent, family backgrounds, etc as you love your God (vertical). Time to time I need to be reminded that I have to accept and love others unconditionally. Be caring without being asked, just like Elisha. Today I was reminded that happy can be unconditional, free, and pure. Happy can happens without reason and terms & conditions. Accepting others as God accepting whoever that comes to his church. Be generous as a Father given His only Son because He knew that human need a savior. Love one another because love is the only way.

I don’t need a reason to be happy. I just need to allow it.

Recipe · Riri

Chicken Rice

Food is a magical thing that will instantly transport me to a place in my memory bank. It usually tucked away quietly waiting for something to trigger the awakening of these familiar thoughts. Everyone associated a moment or time in their life with food of some kind, whether good or bad.

My mom Chicken rice is something that I will associate with being back in my childhood. When she cooks chicken rice, right away I know that somebody in the family needed to have some comforting. My mom does not eat chicken nor keen to touch and she also irritates by the smell of chicken. So I immediately know somebody must be having a bad day, so my mom willing to go extra miles to make this person better. So this is not something that I will see regularly at the dinner table. Pretty rare I must say.

I think the tradition passing on to me. Whenever I feel like I need some pick me up, I reached things that I could find to make this dish quick and painless (minimal cleaning is a must). So I thought I would share my comfort food recipe : )

for the chicken:

  • 1 medium kampong chicken (remove the fat and keep to add in the rice)
  • 5 cm fresh ginger, smashed with skin on
  • 5 Garlic cloves, smashed with skin on
  • 3 Green Onions
  • seasalt and black peppercorns
  • 2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp sesame oil

Directions: Put everything in a large pot, pour enough water to cover. Bring to a boil; reduce the heat to low and skim any scum off the surface. about 45 min. Remove chicken from the pot and chop into pieces. Combine soy sauce, 3tbs chicken broth, garlic oil, sesame oil in a small bowl. Drizzle over chicken.

For the rice:

  • 4 cups of Thai long grain fragrant rice ( I usually mix it with Basmati rice 50:50)
  • 4 garlic cloves, smashed with skin on
  • 5 cm fresh ginger, smashed with skin on
  • Green Onion
  • 450 ml chicken stock (from the reserved chicken broth)

Directions: Melt the chicken fat in a large pot over medium heat. Add the rice, Garlic, ginger and salt; stir until rice is glossy and fragrant, 2-3 mins. Pour the reserved chicken broth into the pot to cover the rice by half inch. Cover and bring to boiled for 20 to 25 minutes, turn off the heat and let the rice sit, covered (do not open right away) for 5 minutes. 

Garlic chili dip:

  • 5 red chili
  • 2 limes juiced
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • 1 piece of ginger
  • salt and sugar to taste

Directions: Combine everything in a blender. Blend until it smooth. I usually make this extra and keep in the refrigerator for any food that required Chili cuka sambal.

Ginger dip:

  • 2 limes juiced
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1 piece young ginger
  • salt to taste

Directions: Combine everything in a blender. Blend until it smooth.

Notes: If I am too lazy to cook the chicken and the rice in a separate way, I usually combine everything in one go : ) also work well. Just cut the chicken and place on top of the rice before bring to boil.

 

 

 

life · Riri · what i think

Self-awareness

Acceptance is a practice. It is hard and troublesome. It is something that I need to do for myself, my family, my partner, my friends, my job, my attitude toward life, etc. It takes a lot of understanding, probably time-consuming to follow the situations and moving on from there. It is not something you do once, say when you decide to accept. It is an ongoing process and commitment. Daily practice is needed when you set your intention and lean into it 100%. Once I have made a decision to accept something, someone, a certain situation, any chapters of your story, I consciously know I am responsible for being committed and consciously practicing every single time. It will be hard and there will be resistance, which is why I maybe haven’t been able to accept in some cases. This process of inability to accept will always keep me stuck and anxious or even panic, pushing me down into a low mood. Most of the time when I choose not to accept because I afraid to loose the control. Clearly, I know that the truth is by not accepting it what makes me loose control. So I try to practice acceptance, maybe someday I will learn that it really means letting go of trying to control.

As for the things that I can control are the following:

  1. My beliefs
  2. My attitude
  3. My thoughts
  4. My perspective
  5. How honest I am
  6. Who I choose to be friends with
  7. The books or blogs I choose to read, the music, youtube or podcast I choose to listen
  8. How often I exercises
  9. The type of food I eat
  10. How much risks I’ll be willing to take
  11. How I interpret situations
  12. How kind I am to others and how I decide to treat them
  13. How kind I am to myself
  14. How often I say “Thank you”, “I love you”, “Please, help me”, “How are you”, etc
  15. How I express my feelings, thoughts, care
  16. How often I practice gratitude and/or appreciating the things I have
  17. How many times I smiles today
  18. The amount of effort I put forth
  19. How I spend or invest my money
  20. How much time I spend worrying
  21. How often I think about my past
  22. Whether or not I judge other people
  23. Whether or not I bounce back after a setback

to be continued.. to jot down things that I can control. As it, for now, I am ok knowing that I can have 23 things that I can control.

Uncategorized

Daily battle

Tekun

Disiplin

Kerja keras

Adalah bagian yang mungkin menjadi penentu keberhasilan seseorang. 

Takut

Terlalu khawatir

Tidak percaya diri

Adalah hal-hal yang bisa menjerumuskan ke masalah yang tak berujung. 

Pertempuran tiap hari adalah mengenyahkan pikiran-pikiran buruk dan berusaha memberikan yang terbaik. Mudah dikatakan, sulit untuk dilakukan. 

life · Riri

the low day

“I believe that if something is troubling you, simply start from where you are and take the action necessary to change it” – Susan Jeffers

I am currently reading ‘Feel the Fear…” by Susan Jeffers and this statement really reminding me to do something when things don’t go as planned. As much as a type-A personality that I am, Singapore has changed me to be more flexible and accepting the fact that I am here because I chose to be here, not because I was pressured by some substances.

Although I have had varying levels of success in ‘not dwelling on the past’, through my journey, I have always believed that if something needs to be fixed, I might as well get on and fix it, and worry about they whys and wherefores later. I fully understand that what I need to be doing. In the real life, I struggled most of the time figure things from the past to the point I have no more probable caused to analyze the situation.

This has been a very hard process for me. I always have to know the 5W1H (Why, Who, What, When, Where + How) in anything that I encountered. Most of my clients and close friends know that every time they’re telling me a new story, they have to first let me know the 5W1H. Such a dictators listener, huh?

One day, when I had one of my low days and when everything seems to be wrong; I chose to write down all the blessings in my life. Trying to meditate and put aside all the stressful thoughts and focus on what is beautiful now. My health, my home, and my loved ones. I’ll write most of them down in my bullet journal even to the littlest things such as, a soft comfy bedding that I’ve been blessed to have, that kiss from a loved one, a family (even we are not as  close as I wish we were), being safe and having the freedom to organize my day as I please and all other aspects of life that nourish my soul.

I know I have to keep reminding myself to no longer take things for granted. To meditate and mindfully acknowledging that thoughts about the past are just thoughts like any others. Where we go from here, the present moment is the most important thing. I have had these moments which add up to a life well-lived. I have to train myself over and over again to worry less and less about the future as I appreciate life to its fullest. I am truly blessed!