life · Riri · what i think

Self-awareness

Acceptance is a practice. It is hard and troublesome. It is something that I need to do for myself, my family, my partner, my friends, my job, my attitude toward life, etc. It takes a lot of understanding, probably time-consuming to follow the situations and moving on from there. It is not something you do once, say when you decide to accept. It is an ongoing process and commitment. Daily practice is needed when you set your intention and lean into it 100%. Once I have made a decision to accept something, someone, a certain situation, any chapters of your story, I consciously know I am responsible for being committed and consciously practicing every single time. It will be hard and there will be resistance, which is why I maybe haven’t been able to accept in some cases. This process of inability to accept will always keep me stuck and anxious or even panic, pushing me down into a low mood. Most of the time when I choose not to accept because I afraid to loose the control. Clearly, I know that the truth is by not accepting it what makes me loose control. So I try to practice acceptance, maybe someday I will learn that it really means letting go of trying to control.

As for the things that I can control are the following:

  1. My beliefs
  2. My attitude
  3. My thoughts
  4. My perspective
  5. How honest I am
  6. Who I choose to be friends with
  7. The books or blogs I choose to read, the music, youtube or podcast I choose to listen
  8. How often I exercises
  9. The type of food I eat
  10. How much risks I’ll be willing to take
  11. How I interpret situations
  12. How kind I am to others and how I decide to treat them
  13. How kind I am to myself
  14. How often I say “Thank you”, “I love you”, “Please, help me”, “How are you”, etc
  15. How I express my feelings, thoughts, care
  16. How often I practice gratitude and/or appreciating the things I have
  17. How many times I smiles today
  18. The amount of effort I put forth
  19. How I spend or invest my money
  20. How much time I spend worrying
  21. How often I think about my past
  22. Whether or not I judge other people
  23. Whether or not I bounce back after a setback

to be continued.. to jot down things that I can control. As it, for now, I am ok knowing that I can have 23 things that I can control.

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