There is a girl who smiles all the time, to show the world she is fine.
A boy who surrounds himself with friends, wishes that his life would end.
For those that say they never knew— The saddest leave the least of clues.
I love my job. And I know how lucky I am to be able to say that and mean that. I don’t invent anything, I don’t build anything, I don’t come into think that I can salvage people. I sit across people about 2 clients or couples a day, by choices, I listen attentively to their struggles and working with them to assist them to come up with their objectivity.
I often get asked, “How do you do this all day?”. I reply, “Do what?”. “Sit and listen to people whine, cry, and complain all day long”. But my clients aren’t “whining and complaining.” They are seeking awareness, answers, and a way to deal with what they are facing. “So you get paid to just sit there?” Um, no, I may not able to think for them but I have few suggestions, based on research and experience, that they can experiment with to see if it will help them to bring the change in the directions that may want to go. I went to get myself educated and learn to follow protocols for evidence-based treatment that should be effective for most of the disorders that clients presented.
Sit around and talking about changing in therapy isn’t going to create change. But, It may help someone to think through options. It may help them to find the courage within to take a risk. It may help someone to see that it is really up to them to make it happen.
When I am working with clients, I tend to share with them a piece of universal wisdom: The extent to which you are willing to cope with reality is the extent to which you can me mentally healthy. Be ready to face and discover the gray area of the reality of your life. Be willing to bear the pain and accept that you may need help finding ways to cope, deal, heal and move on.
The point in time when you can concede that it is there and make some decisions about what you want to do about that roadblock, You are relieved from all the self-destructive coping skills you had to practice in order to deny or curse its existence.